I'm OK-You're OK. By. Thomas A. Harris MD Occasionally a PDF file .. understand a word you're saying' is not an uncommonly held attitude towards persons. most of us have made the unconscious decision I'M NOT OK-YOU'RE OK. I'm Ok, You're Not: Assessing Variable Influence on Perceptions I love you and. I'm OK You're OK summary and review. The life changing of Thomas Harris distilled and simplified. Also available in PDF.

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The Classic Bestseller That has Changed the Lives of Millions"Extraordinary. Harris has helped millions find the freedom to change, liberate their adult effe. I'm OK, You're - Download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or view presentation slides online. Editorial Reviews. Review. “It's easy to relate to I'm OK-You're OK. Again and again the reader will find his own predicament staring up at him from the page.

It astounds me that this book advertises itself of the cover as "Over 15 million copies in print" and "The classic bestseller that has changed the lives of millions.

Regarding psychotherapy and counseling, I never had to read a text by Carl Rogers in school, nor have I ever met someone who mentioned reading one of his; yet he is indisputably one of if not the most significant and influential figure in psychotherapy.

By contrast, I never heard of Harris until I picked up this book, despite his millions sold.

Instantly learn how to use the 'I'm OK you're OK' model to improve your relationships

The real shame of this book is that he does a disservice to psychotherapy as a whole and Transactional Analysis in particular. I have yet to read Eric Berne's original Games People Play, but what I have read by him is very clear, sensible, and meaningful. Berne uses clear everyday examples to illustrate his points.

His writing is focused and generally tightly confined to the topic. Harris wanders way out into errant speculation as a matter of course. Blanket statements about society and moral decay, criticisms of organized religion, meandering discussions of philosophy, spirituality, and mystical experience, race relations in America, the nature of warfare, hippies and s American counterculture and the social forces that caused it , adolescent rebellion, violence in the media, rational basis for theories of ethics, proper use of time, prejudice in families and society, the state of marriage in America, international politics, the cause of the Vietnam war in terms of "Parent" nations and "Child" nations trying to "grow up" etc.

As you can see, Harris believes he can do it all in this book and that no topic is either outside the bounds of either the principles of TA or his own expertise. I personally believe that such difficult and involved topics should be left to the professionals, if only because you're liable to look like a jackass with your own ignorant, half-informed opinions.

There's an old joke in psychology based on the idea that everyone can do it by virtue of the fact that everyone has a brain and therefore is an expert ; Harris turns the joke on its head by claiming experience in counseling sessions gives him say in all human affairs. The recording is a long list of rules and admonitions about the way the world is that the child was expected to believe unquestioningly.

Many of these rules for example: In parallel with those Parent recordings, the Child is a simultaneous recording of internal events—how life felt as a child. Harris equates these with the vivid recordings that Wilder Penfield was able to cause his patients to re-live by stimulating their brains. Harris proposes that, as adults, when we feel discouraged, it is as if we are re-living those Child memories yet the stimulus for re-living them may no longer be relevant or helpful in our lives.

According to Harris, humans start developing a third mental state, the Adult , about the time children start to walk and begin to achieve some measure of control over their environment.

Instead of learning ideas directly from parents into the Parent, or experiencing simple emotion as the Child, children begin to be able to explore and examine the world and form their own opinions. They test the assertions of the Parent and Child and either update them or learn to suppress them.

Thus the Adult inside us all develops over time, but it is very fragile and can be readily overwhelmed by stressful situations. Its strength is also tested through conflict between the simplistic ideas of the Parent and reality.

Sometimes, Harris asserts, it is safer for a person to believe a lie than to acknowledge the evidence in front of them. This is called Contamination of the Adult. The four positions are:.

I’m Ok, You’re Ok

As children we see that adults are large, strong and competent and that we are little, weak and often make mistakes, so we conclude I'm Not OK, You're OK. The emphasis of the book is helping people understand how their life position affects their communications transactions and relationships with practical examples.

I'm OK, You're OK continues by providing practical advice to begin decoding the physical and verbal clues required to analyze transactions. For example, Harris suggests signs that a person is in a Parent ego state can include the use of evaluative words that imply judgment based on an automatic, axiomatic and archaic value system: Harris introduces a diagrammatic representation of two classes of communication between individuals: Harris suggests that crossed transactions are problematic because they "hook" the Child ego state of one of the participants, resulting in negative feelings.

Harris suggests that awareness of this possibility, through TA, can give people a choice about how they react when confronted with an interpersonal situation which makes them feel uncomfortable. Harris provides practical suggestions regarding how to stay in the Adult ego state, despite the provocation.

I’m OK – You’re OK: Book Summary & Review in PDF

Having described a generalized model of the ego states inside human beings, and the transactions between them, Harris then describes how individuals differ. He argues that insights can be gained by examining the degree to which an individual's Adult ego state is contaminated by the other ego states. He summarizes contamination of the Adult by the Parent as "prejudice" and contamination of the Adult by the Child as "delusion". A healthy individual is able to separate these states.

Yet, Harris argues, a functioning person does need all three ego states to be present in their psyche in order for them to be complete. Someone who excludes i. Harris also identifies from his medical practice examples of individuals with blocked out Adult ego states, who were psychotic, terrified and varied between the Parent ego state's archaic admonitions about the world and the raw emotional state of the Child, making them non-treatable by therapy.

For such cases, Harris endorses drug treatments, or electro-convulsive therapy , as a way to temporarily disrupt the disturbing ego states, allowing the "recommissioning" of the Adult ego state by therapy.

Harris reports a similar approach to treating Manic Depression. The second half of the book begins by briefly describing the six ways that TA practitioners recognize individuals use to structure time , to make life seem meaningful. Harris continues by offering practical case studies showing applications of TA to Marriage and the raising of both Children and Adolescents.

He promotes the idea that TA is not just a method for specialists, but can be shared and used by many people. Having described such a structured method of dealing with the challenges of human psychology, the final two chapters of the book discuss the question of improving morality and society.

In particular, he asks, if we are not to succumb to domination by the Parent ego state, how can individuals enlightened through TA know how they should live their lives? Starting from his axiomatic statement I'm OK, You're OK , he acknowledges that accepting it at face value raises the same philosophical dilemmas as the problem of evil does for believers in a just, omnipotent God. Harris continues to explore aspects of Christianity with reference to TA, together with more generalized questions about the nature of religion.

The final chapter of I'm OK, You're OK refers to social issues contemporary at the time of writing, including the Cold War , Vietnam war and the contemporary controversial research of individuals' response to authority conducted by psychologist Stanley Milgram.

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Harris applies TA to these issues and concludes his book with the hope that nations will soon gain the maturity to engage in Adult to Adult dialogue, rather than conducting diplomacy in the collective archaic ego states of Parent or Child, which he sees as causing war and disharmony. It is still in print, published by Harpercollins. Several decades have now elapsed since Harris published I'm OK, You're OK , so inevitably some of the cultural references which might have seemed new and relevant when the book was first published may now seem dated and less accessible to contemporary readers who do not remember the s.

The work of Wilder Penfield concerning human memory, which appeared to Harris to give TA special credibility because it inferred a direct association with neuroscience, has not proved readily repeatable.

Harris's assertion that a child does not mature with the life position I'm OK - You're OK without therapy has been criticised as positioning TA as a quasi-religious soteriology. The name of the book has since become used commonly, often as a dismissive categorization of all popular psychology philosophies as being overly accepting.

Examples of the influence elsewhere are:.This gives you the feeling that you have a right, or even a duty, to take charge or give orders or advice. It's a simple read, easy to understand and yet so powerful.

It 'takes charge'. See all Editorial Reviews.

Hypnotically transform your interactions with others

Product details File Size: Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy: Starting from his axiomatic statement I'm OK, You're OK , he acknowledges that accepting it at face value raises the same philosophical dilemmas as the problem of evil does for believers in a just, omnipotent God.

We must start where we are. Grundwissen Religionspsychologie.